As we stagger towards the Christmas season, where it is better to give than to receive, (but you feel pretty peeved if your own reception is a bit poor) it’s often difficult (or frankly just too boring to bother) choosing a gift that will really, really be appreciated.Not just the grudging “thanks” through gritted teeth for yet another tie,jumper or equally useless novelty gizmo, but a real, heartfelt “ bloody hell – that’s fantastic!”.

But what Christmas gifts do you get to evoke that response? Well, since the office is where most of us seem to spend our lives passing the time and praying for those tedious hours in front of the PC to end or if you’ve just finished yet another time management course that overran, why not buy gadgets such as the brilliantly named Lifetimer, possibly the most interesting and interactive clock ever invented.It lets you keep track of the important things in life, like the amount of time left until your next holiday, your next tea break, your birthday, how long before you knock off work, even the last time you had sex – with another person!It’s astonishing how much time you can waste simply by pressing buttons to see how much time you’re wasting.Well, beats wine glasses for presents anyway.

If that sounds too much like boys gifts and you want something jest a little bit more useful for the girls, who as we all know are far more organised and efficient, then try something called Dead Fred. Fred shows you care, have a really warped sense of humour and are practical at the same time – attributes that are bound to make you irresistible to women!

Fred proves that you can put a pen down and stop it walking away. He’s made from soft silicone rubber, lies prostrate on the desk and makes a very natty home for your pen – and no, it doesn’t go where you’re thinking!It thrusts deep into his yielding rubbery chest where it remains quivering until withdrawn – another reason it will prove a hit with the girls!